The Science of Step 9 AA: How Making Amends Can Help
In this way, you can take the focus off of yourself and choose to live a life of greater meaning. It’s much easier to just apologize and move on, but committing to living your life differently looks different. Making these types of life improvements typically requires that you work with a counselor or therapist who can provide an outsider’s perspective and https://missouridigest.com/top-5-advantages-of-staying-in-a-sober-living-house/ objective view of your life. Making these types of life changes is difficult and requires lots of hard, emotionally-complex work, but it’s worth all the effort in the end. But, by facing reality and the long-term impact of your actions, and making amends to those you’ve hurt, you’re able to make peace with the past and put it behind you and move forward.
- They spoke of job losses, mental health issues, substance abuse and problems with the city shelter system that drove them to the streets.
- Making any type of amends can be challenging, but in this article, we’ll focus on living amends and tips for how to make them.
- A 12-step program is designed to encourage long-term sobriety, by fostering a spirituality for recovery.
- Don’t expect immediate forgiveness, and also, don’t pressure yourself to fix every broken relationship immediately.
We wrote a book!
- While this step involves a direct exchange with another person, its goal has everything to do with healing and addiction recovery on the part of the person making the amends.
- However, you can still take action in all of these situations to satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work.
- It gave me time to become a part of the house I live in and develop a relationship and brotherhood with the others that live here with me.
- We talked about the complicated processes of self-forgiveness and self-compassion.
- After years of being bossy and overbearing, my basic apologies meant little.
I no longer interrogate him about his day at school, so I can give my wise advice on how to handle difficult peers. I’m not his teacher, and I’m sure she’s skilled at handling that type of problem. If there are any concerns about content we have published, please reach out to us at
My Loved One Needs Help
These grants are competitive, and a limited number will be awarded each month. We are looking for individuals committed to their recovery. When applying for the scholarship for the second and third months, the applicant must fill out the form below and complete the 2nd and 3rd-month essay to Living Amends. The goal is for each recipient to have a stake in their sobriety.
- Some people will be easier than others to approach due to the relationship you have with them, how close you live to them, or other factors.
- I have a decent place to live, a good, accessible job on the way and I’m rock solid in my sobriety.
- If you’re familiar with substance use recovery and 12-step programs, the idea of “living amends” might ring a bell.
- That might not be so tricky if the person were still alive.
We Are Ready to Assist You
It represents many of the feelings and struggles you’ve had. By working through the list in Step 9 and making amends to each person named there, you will restore a piece of yourself with each conversation. Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them. If your actions match your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs. And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease. It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse.
After all, I hadn’t hurt anyone (Step 8), so I didn’t need to make any amends (Step 9). In fact, every day I make a Sober House to my husband, son, Mom, and brother Ricky. Join our supportive sober community where each day becomes a step towards personal growth and lasting positive change.
- The goal in making amends is “to freely admit the damage we’ve done and make our apologies,” according to The Big Book.
- Call us or fill out our online contact form today to get started.
- We’ll pay 50% of the cost during the second month, and during their third month, we pay 25%.
- Living amends refers to making promises to the people in your life whom you’ve wronged or who have hurt you.
What Do You Say When Making Amends? – The Step 9 Amends Letter
Children don’t need to hear about the disease of alcoholism or the Twelve Steps. So we can skip the long-winded speeches and just be mom or dad. In Twelve Step terminology, another word for “amend” is “fix.” Not the fix we might have chased back in the day, but a fix to a broken relationship.
Communicating about the way you harmed others can evoke strong emotions. Each person’s experience of addiction and recovery is unique. Just like each person needs an individualized approach to alcohol addiction treatment, your approach to making amends in AA may look completely different from someone else’s.
I was then put in touch with an incredible woman by the name of Whitney Welch, who owns two sober living homes known as ‘Mir House’ down in Kerrville, Texas. She heard my situation and understood and sympathized with my desperation and earnest want to live a better life. I found myself fresh out of prison, living at a halfway house, with no clue as to what the next step for my new life was going to be. I had the option to move back to my parents’ house in the same old town and around the same old people [with] who I spent my time within my addiction. I knew that all it would take was one single moment of weakness, one split second, for me to call one of them up if I found myself craving a drink or drug.
